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What change do you want to keep?

Updated: May 2, 2020

On intake forms for complimentary medicine, there is often a line that says:

"I was never the same again since______________."

What this is asking for is the event that you feel derailed your life experience and health. Most of us have at least one, if not a few in our lives.

We are currently experiencing a collective never the same again since event.

The truth is we were never in control anyway.

We never actually know what is going to happen next.

We don't know how long we are going to live, or how we are going to die.

Or if we will have what we need to be comfortable or not.

Most of the time, though, we are able to ignore those truths because enough of our day to day structure is intact to soothe us into doing the next expected thing and not look too deeply at the underlying uncertainty of life.

Some of us have even consciously created lives based around routine, habits, and skills that guide us towards who we want to be. I love my routines because they help me feel safe. 

For most of us right now our daily routines are basically decimated.

We are not working at all, unable to pay our rents, or are working shifts that are so long that we don’t have enough time to rest. 

For those of us that are at home and usually aren't, it is tempting to fill this pause with streaming tv shows, eating, and lots of internet time. And a bit too much alcohol. Let’s not forget that.

There are positives. People are spending time together, walking, playing, creating, and so much baking. Gardens are being planted as skies clear.

Partners are finding out if they are right for each other, or not.

We are noticing the activities, things, and people that we miss, and what we are so much more happy without.

A friend said it beautifully- “I am noticing the abundance I already have.”

We have stopped spending as much money as we usually do, because we do not have as much, if any, coming in, and there are less places to spend it. I have listened to interviews with business and industry leaders in which they say that the way we work and attend higher education may never entirely go back to the way it was. Some people (mostly the ones without children and with home offices) are finding out that they like this way better. 

The pace of life in general has been increasing every year with no end in sight. The sheer volume of information and choices to be made is astounding. I hope that we keep some of the simplicity we have found.

I don’t want to underplay the plights of people that are isolated with abusers, or are struggling with addiction or serious health issues. I wish it was in my power to change their circumstances.

Who I am thinking about are those of us that have enough food, shelter, and kindness to have the opportunity to look inside ourselves in this worldly lull.

We are being given the option of examining our lives through a lens we usually leave on the shelf.

Here are some questions that may be worth your time:

The little questions:

  • Do I spend my free time doing things I actually enjoy, or do I just numb out?

Are there hobbies I used to do that I would like to do again?

  • Do I enjoy the foods I eat, and are they good for me?

Are there new recipes I would like to try?

  • Are there letters I want to write or phone calls I want to make?

If yes, who to?

  • Are there activities I want to add back into my routine?

Movement or exercise?

Drinking more water?

Going on walks?

The medium questions:

  • Am I happy with my home?

    Do I want to rearrange the furniture?

    Paint some walls?

  • If I have animals, do I want to do more with them?

    Do I want another one?

  • If I have outdoor space, do I want to change it?

    Start a garden?

    Plant some flowers?

    Make a space for resting or eating?

The big questions:

  • Who do I miss? Who do I enjoy life more without?

    How do my various relationships impact my wellbeing?

  • Do I need to change the agreements (spoken or not) in my primary relationships?

    What do I need to say? 

     How can I say it in a productive way?

  • Am I happy with my life’s direction? 

    Do I want a change? 

Find a different job?

    Go back to school?

    Move to a different town?

Please know that I am not asking you to not watch TV, rest, and drink what ever you want to. I enjoy those things. I am just asking that you choose what you want to do freely and consciously, and not out of avoidance.


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