You are never going to get it all done.
I know very well the fantasy of having it all done. in mine, I am resting on a couch in a room with wood floors. I am in the shade, but facing a window that the sun is shining on, highlighting the white linen curtains. There is the clean scent of french lavender in the air. I have absolutely nothing on my to-do list, and I am pondering what luxurious self-care I would like. Ah, what a sweet dream.
But it will never come true.
Put yourself first anyway.
You know how it is. There are so many things to do. Many levels of things to do.
There are the basics- cooking, cleaning, eating, bathing, feed and caring of dependents.
Then what I think of as the sitting basics- answering emails, office jobs, paying bills, planning the next thing.
And then there is the 'I should have finished that last year’ category. This might be about replacing the roof, the business you still have not launched, or the charity project you really believe in but never get to.
Then there is the emotional realm. Is everything alright between you and your partner/ best friend/ mother-in-law/ Komodo dragon? Any ruffles that need smoothing?
I haven't even mentioned the seasonal chores like cutting back shrubs and putting the garden to bed and finding firewood for the winter.
And what about the activities that nourish us, things like being in nature, creating art, reading poetry and fiction, and having inspiring conversations with people who share your passions? You know, the things that make life worthwhile?
Great googly moogily with all that hanging over us how do we ever get anything done?
The truth is some of us don't, and most of us go through phases of couch lock, excessive social media scrolling, and Netflix binge-watching.
So what's a modern human to do?
It's the same old answer you have seen before:
Take inventory.
Do you need to do each item?
Can some be let go?
Or delegated?
Or renegotiated?
Is help available?
If help is available, take it graciously.
Read those last two sentences again.
If there are tasks and goals that are nebulous, flesh them out, even if just in your mind, so you know what you are dealing with. Even more helpful is to write them down, so they are out of your brain and you can look at them more objectively. After you have all your tasks listed, choose the one that feels the most pressing, and do the first small step that will lead to it being crossed off the list. This will give you relief from your internal pressure, which will free up more energy.
Taking this first action step, no matter how small, over and over again, will move you towards your goal, or at least off the couch and in a better mood, which is what it's all about anyway.