We all have heard of a state of mind.
We also are all resting in at all times, a state of heart.
Both our state of mind and our state of heart are under our control to change if we want to.
Every single decision we make changes our future. It might be just in a very small way, but it does. Therefore your state of mind and your state of heart matter a lot because those are the places from which we make choices.
So then, if you want to change your states, how do you do that?
Having a different perspective than the one you have now will take practice, just like everything else. If you are in the habit of listening to the voice in your head and believing it, or of shoulding all over yourself, or feeling guilty about all the things you should do, but don’t, or are stuck in melancholy or irritability, or just feel out of touch with your feelings or bodily sensations, it will take practice to get out of that rut.
And please know that it’s a totally normal human thing to be stuck sometimes.
One of the easiest places to begin is by filtering what you feed your mind and heart. Take a look at your media. Unfollow accounts that bring up discomfort or judgment. Find something that gives you warm fuzzies instead. I like following puppy and hygge accounts, and forests and beautiful kitchens. Looking at those things makes me feel warm, creative, and connected. What makes you feel that way?
It’s the same, or even more so, with movies and TV. So many of the well-acted shows today are extremely violent and do not represent the best of human nature. It may not feel like it on the surface, but they are agitating to your nervous system. Go for hokey comedy over horror, your subconscious will thank you.
A beautiful practice is to consciously rest in your heart and be open to the other people around you. Notice if they are heart-centered or not, and start cultivating awareness on that level and responding to it. I do my best to stay aware at this level. Some days if I don’t feel well or am tired, it’s not available.
Last week I was getting some sliced ham from a grocery store deli, and the person helping me had such an open sparkly heart we just complemented the heck out of each other during the entire transaction and both felt good about it. That doesn’t always happen. Sometimes the people you come into contact with are really closed down. When they are available, even a little tiny bit, reciprocate, and let the love grow. All it takes is a kind tone of voice and a sincere smile. Dumb jokes are good too.
And you know what closes down your heart faster than anything?
Judgment. When you feel that someone is beneath you or above you, you are creating separation. Remember, we are all in this together. We are connected. That doesn’t mean that you have to agree with everyone else all the time at all. It’s OK to have different opinions. Just be careful of putting yourself in a pit or on a pedestal in relation to other people.
How do you avoid this? Whenever you come up against someone you disagree with or for whatever reason feel averted by, put yourself in their shoes. ask yourself why do they think that? What is their experience in this moment? Or you could ask yourself, what if I am wrong?
And of course, there are asshats out there and situations that it’s best to simply remove yourself from.
Staying in our hearts and staying open to possibility, however we need to get there, truly helps us heal and become better versions of ourselves. This is going to sound so super idealistic, but it helps the world too. I was happier and kinder after my lovely deli counter interaction. I took that energy to more people.
We communicate in so many more ways than words.
The sensations that come from our body to guide us, like love and intuition, are just as important as thoughts. They are just in a different language. A felt language of sensation. We all can do this- imagine a hug from a loved one, or holding a baby or puppy. You know how a state of heart feels.
Rest your heart more than in your mind.
Listen with your gut.
See if you can move your sensation of thinking and talking from your mind into your heart.
Sink a little deeper into your self-awareness and your bodily awareness before, and while, you speak and act. Feel the sensations in your chest and belly.
It feels good.