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Tenderness


This week I have been feeling tender. By that I mean I have been tearing up over things I read, and have felt very sentimental about all the people I love, and people in general. Being who I am, this all means that I don't want to leave the house, want lots of hugs, and am only wearing soft clothes.


I gave up the idea long ago that humans as a species would shift their focus from power to love, or greed to abundance, but at the very same time I know that both sides of the circle are always in existence. There are always terrible things happening and there are always wonderful things happening.


And it's natural for our attention to move from one to the other. It's not healthy to stay always happy or always anxious- honestly, when we feel stuck in any one state for too long, it's a sign we are in avoidance. Flux is life. Circulation, flow, stopping and starting again. Changing direction when presented with an obstacle. All that damn pivoting.


Some days, everything is okay, and some days it's not. We all face difficulty at times. Some days, for some people, their difficulty is truly insurmountable. For most of us, most days, we find a way through. It may be a physical challenge or an emotional one. If we are lucky, we have all our needs met and are just irritated because all of our preferences weren't. That is a rich life indeed.


So how do we muddle through? How do we feel okay, or be okay with not being okay when some days it just feels like too much?


I say go ahead and feel. Be overwhelmed. Be sad. Cry. Rant. Let it move through you instead of getting stuck in you. There are two general outcomes to letting emotions get stuck in you. Either they come out when you are least expecting it, and usually in a direction you didn't intend. Or, the unresolved emotions cover over your experience of living like a dull layer. Life feels like a place you visited once and can't remember how to get back to.


Clients have told me that they were afraid if they let themselves feel, they would never stop. Or if they let themselves rest, they would never get up again. I have felt both those ways at points in my life, and I did get up again, and I did stop crying eventually.


And that's why I write, to reach out to you, to share with all of you that none of us is alone in a larger sense. As individuals, yes, we are alone within ourselves. That's why vulnerability and compassion are important. To show each other our soft underbellies, offer comfort, hold space, and imagine what it is like in each other's experience before we speak and act. To use our soft eyes when we look at one another, and connect with our hearts before we speak.


And now I am done with my stream of consciousness, tender-hearted, soft-bellied say of the day.


Sending love to all.

1 Comment


Especially love that last sentence.♥️

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